match.com: A Dating Interface for the Burned and the Busy

The growing number of dating site advertisements and television commercials has recently sparked my curiosity. I’ve been noticing the quality of the commercials getting better and that led me to thinking that someone must actually be using them. To cure my curiosity, I set up a fake-account on match.com, portraying myself as a 26 year old single woman, never married and living in New York. As soon as one types in this basic information, they are directed to a page full of photos of men (if that is the gender they seek to date) within the age group that specified by the user. Images of your potential Mr. Right are presented, and you can narrow your search via the tabs listed on the left of the page: height, body type, marital status, faith, ethnicity, smoke, drink and education. So much for taking life as it comes. In online dating, gone are the days of spontaneous romances and true love. Nowadays, you get to make all the decisions, his height, his eye color, his interests. It’s quite similar to in vitro fertilization, except here you get to build your perfect man/woman.

But, why are people resorting to dating online?

Some are divorced or have been burned by love in some way and are looking to start their next relationship off on the right foot. They become increasingly guarded as they move on from their relationship, and so become cautious daters. But, in my opinion, match.com exists as an interface for that creates relationships between its members based on a false sense of security. Members feel secure with their dates, feeling that they have done enough research to know what they are getting themselves into. What you see may not be true, and even if it is, it is only what your date wants you to see. So, really you’re taking no caution at all. The truth is that dating and relationships are risky, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot construct your perfect date or mate.

Other match.com members seek relationships online, because they feel that they do not have time away from their career to look for a relationship. The truth is though, that if you don’t have time to look for a relationship, you don’t have time to be in one. Many relationships today fail because people are in such a rush to find a significant other, to find someone to “complete them.” They leave it until what they think is the last minute and panic when they want to start a family. But love takes time, and it happens when you’re ready for it. For many of those who panic – because they have spent more time on their career than on their professional life – there is still time. Rushed relationships become relationships like the one between Renee Zellweger and Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire. I don’t know about the rest of the world. But, I don’t want an incomplete person, and I don’t want anyone who would want an incomplete me!

The whole thing idea of match.com seems very artificial to me. In the age of technology and globalization, I believe that our relationships are what keep us grounded and aware of what is really important in life…the people that surround us. Call me a hopeless romantic; call me naïve. Maybe I simply haven’t experienced enough of the “harsh dating world.” But, I prefer to meet my future husband – or future date for that matter – in person, and I’m content with waiting until we cross paths in reality.