4 Ways to Find the Love of Your Life!!
Or not...
Match.com, eHarmony, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk
Who can keep up?
Internet dating is the romance of the future. Technology has advanced society in such a way that even the most organic and natural personal connections can be made online. I personally am disappointed that society has reached out to technology for help in the love department, but in many respects I understand the convenience and ease of online dating.
I say yes. There is only so much connection that can be made from an online profile and picture. People want to sound exciting on a dating website to distinguish themselves from other candidates so obviously the picture will be flattering, possibly 10 years old, and the information will exaggerated. This combined with the lack of personal contact, tone, and body language involved with internet connections is impersonal enough, but what happens when the person you are courting doesn't even manage their own account? The impersonal element has just escalated.
Marie Claire magazine out out an article this month that brought a whole new element of convenience to the table. Successful female careers are booming and with these ladies cashing in, personal luxuries are becoming a new norm. Among these I'm sure are cleaning services, spa days, and perhaps a personal assistant, but the winner goes to dating website ghost writers! Yes, you heard it, a hire-ee to create your dating profile. Just when I thought online dating couldn't be more disconnected from the real thing....
My question to these 'lucky' ladies that can afford the convenience of someone else creating their love life is what makes you think you'll find time to actually date the person once the connection is made? I can assume the answer is no.
Life in the Boomer Lane, a blog also flabbergasted by the absurdity of this concept, discusses the business of virtual dating assistants. She quotes CEO of Atlanta-based company Virtual Dating Assistants saying, "Our clients weak point is time." Really?! Thank you Captain Obvious, and in the words of blogger Renee, "I agree these women have a weak point, but I don't think it's time."
What do you think about online dating?
Does the convenience trump the impersonal element?
Mallory.
very valid point... i think that the internet has taken a toll on interpersonal interaction.
ReplyDeletedidn't you find your gf on the internet? haha...
ReplyDeletenot at all.... met her through a drunk!
ReplyDeleteI like cartoons and picture books.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insight Gordon! I'm glad the pictures were there to guide you to a better understanding!
ReplyDeletelol... pictures are a very important part of explanation.
ReplyDeleteOK, now for being serious--
ReplyDeleteEveryone is using these sites these days...I was just having this conversation about a friend who recently foiund himself single, divorced, at 43 years of age. If/When he wants to start dating again...where in thee hell is he supposed to find potential dates?
It's not like he's 20 and has single friends to go bar-hopping with.
And what other alternatives are there if not match.com, et al?
Another friend who is single at my age (35) complains of being single, but does not want to go to these sites, it would seem, as a matter of pride.
When you play the game that way, though, you are playing at a distinct disadvantage in this modern day.
I meet all my women on craigslist.
ReplyDeleteI definatly think the Internet dating scene is good for certain people, but i think if you are that desperate to use a dating site to find a mate then well il stop now. i am a strong believer in the old fashoned way of going about finding a posible mate. the way people have been doing it for years. but as technology increases to each their own, whatever works i guess. just my 02
ReplyDeleteRyan, if by old fashioned way you mean clubbing a fellow cavewoman and dragging her back to your cave, I support this.
ReplyDeleteExactly, at least someone sees where I am comming from.
ReplyDeleteGordon- I love the way you used the word 'disadvantage.' You're totally right... the internet is almost protocol when dating especially at an older age. As much as I am skeptical about the internet dating scene, I guess I my skepticism only applys to people my age. Although older generations are just as apt to lie about their info and pics, I feel there is a greater chance for sincerity granted many are divorced and serious about a significant other. People my age often are just looking for a hook up and find humor in internet dating and being "internet players" if you will. Age is definitely an important factor to consider. Like other things in life, perhaps it is age appropriate. Fortunately, I have Phil and will never be faced with the challenge of online dating, but if I were older and maybe divorced or just finally ready to find someone, I might think differently.
ReplyDeleteRyan-- I agree with you. I think internet dating is weird too... but I also know someone personally who found their perfect match online. I guess comfort level and confidence is another factor. The idea is so multi-faceted and I appreciate you guys' input!
ReplyDeleteMallory - nice blog!
ReplyDeleteI think internet dating is so multi-faceted that it depends on the personality and what the person is actually looking for. I know people who are married and met online, and other people who meet creepers online and stay far away from it. Depending on what you're actually looking for, i think could depend on the result of what you find. Some people are just lonely...and look for companionship online. Others are looking for an escape from reality and venture online... it's easier to pretend when you aren't involving that person in your day to day life.
that's my input, which really had no set point. But oh well! haha
Marielle
An important aspect not looked at by many people is the landscape for cyber predators online dating fosters to say the least of many other aspects the world wide web creates and nurtures. While internet dating may take some of the upfront components of finding the perfect mate (while there really isn’t such a thing as a perfect mate) so its just false hope and another way to extract dollars from the desperate. People trust these site and shouldn’t fr many reasons.These dating sights are a marketers dream come true. While desperate people are busy look for Mr or Mrs. Right, they are happily compiling tons of data on you and your habits. And all of this is just a starter, social networks of all types can be not only a dangerous place for you and your identity but also outright evil.
ReplyDeleteToday’s Internet is rapidly transforming the habits of our everyday lives. More and more applications get released over many kinds of devices, like your smart phone or tablet computer. It will be interesting to see who and what kinds of solutions to data become available as the Internet becomes and application platform, which is far more useful to consumer offers. As the saying goes the WEB is Dead Long live the Internet.
So now that I’ve open up a vast number of conversations for possibilities all I have to say is Bring IT!
So what if they are 'compiling your habits'? Who cares? Is the almighty Internet going to all of a sudden start throwing propaganda in your face for things you like such as yoga, dogs, soccer, etc...? On a dating site, you're portraying yourself the way you want your potential cyber mate to see you... what marketing is really happening for "sensitive guy seeks caring girl"? And JIM, it's not as if the internet doesnt already follow our every move. Facebook, email, eBay, Amazon... they all use our "habits" as marketing to better suit our needs. In terms of marketing, dating sites are irrelevant. Maybe people over look this aspect of online dating because its obvious and not always a bad thing. I kind of think it's nice when Amazon takes my purchases into account and makes suggestions. Yes this is marketing, but what aspect of that makes it "overlooked and harmful"? you could argue the potential identity theft issue, but dating sites are less or equally as vulnerable. In other words JIM... what are you really trying to say??
ReplyDeleteokay you asked for it so here it is:
ReplyDeleteMallory, Got to get your terminology correct first. It is very simple the world wide web is dying and will soon be dead. So... Long live the Internet (notice the capital "I:"" in internet). Understanding the difference between the two is paramount to understanding my post. Pulling data from a site is very different then a site delivering you a page of data. One could use the FB app on your smart phone verses the full site one would get if they logged into FB from a browser. As an example, somewhat lame, of the web verses the “Net”.
You choose to give up your anonymity vis vi a web site, that's up to you. The Internet doesn't watch or track or every move or things performed over the World Wide Web in the from of a search engine, or a home page that you log into, social networks different story. Let's not forget that posting anything on the Web is no different from posting it on every billboard on every highway in the world. BTW these are just some of the reason a browser will allow you to turn on private browsing. So that a web server cannot log what you've done. That's important if the server(s) are ever hacked and there are millions and millions of servers connected to the Internet and in Web.
Marketing over dating sites being irrelevant? You can't be serious, more data mining goes on over social networks then another internet site over the world wide web. You yourself admit that in your post. Dating sites are prime and rich targets for predators. And I would trust very little if anything at all. You believe it's not a bad thing I on the other hand cannot concur. I do so for the simple reason that you yourself stated. That is the fact a person can portray themselves as anything. Any kind or types of likes or dislikes. No one can validate them or it. What happens when an internet date shows up and they aren’t like anything they posted themselves as? At least with a social network you can make some choices as to the kinds and types of information, which gets exposed. Better yet you can back track most all relationships. Kind of like the six degrees of separation.
If you were talking about localized networking from the stand point of using a site or a group for common interests again whole different game. The real issue at hand is how much opting out or in a site lets you do and how anonymous it performed the tasks of doing so.
Here is an example in physical life terms. Let just say for a minute, You're responsible for maintaining a highway somewhere. One of the ways you'll determine the roads usage is with a tire counter. Cars and trucks roll over a tube across the road hitting a counter. You have no idea what kind of cars color or people and number of that are in them.
The Web however and the way we use it is setup very differently. "Cookies" to this day still are able to track everything we do on a site and to make matters worst are still used today to set privileges as a user of a site. An analogy of that would be could you imagine if you had to carry a driver's license for every state you drove in? Can you picture how difficult it would be to manage your identity? To make matters worst on whose authority would we base the information on. Todays web and Internet in someways are set up just like that. If you trust without verifying that's up to you. After being around the Internet and the underlying infrastructure for some 20 years now along with being around the Web since it was launch I chose differently.
Had you and Phil made time or effort to come and spend sometime with Phil's favorite Uncle and his Aunt. I could have and would have explained more about the underlying purposes of that thing we call the web. But you didn't. BTW I just gave up important information about me on this blog.
Jim... please no longer visit my blog. This is for school and educational purposes, not to be spiteful, rude, or air dirty laundry to my compsci class and the world. You have out worn your welcome.
ReplyDeleteRegards, M.